Silent Violence against Woman

Salwa Zakzak

Salma and Mariam are going into two fierce battles of getting divorced. Mariam is a girl aged 26, the second wife for a young guy aged 30. When Mariam decided to get married to her colleague at work, everybody blamed her the thing also that was completely refused by her father. However, she threatened to get married regardless of her father reminding him of his tipple marriage and his three wives who live together. She also reminded him of his mother, the second wife, and who remained silent on the previous and the following wives to her. Henceforth, Samia has to go on through her battle solely and semi-hopeless as all tell her you were the one who selected him, you were the one who challenged her family and got married to him.

Mariam has got one and only young girl who is in her first year of age where her husband travelled to Germany. He abstains of meeting his commitments of paying of money to his family mainly Mariam, her daughters, and his first wife and her sons. Mariam’s concerns have increased after her husband’s repudiation, and his financial, emotional and familial abandonment especially that she knew that in Germany there is no recognition on the plural marriage. That is to say, they accept reunion applications only for one wife, she verified of her concerns when her husband requested from her to give the family a booklet to the first wife without providing a convincing evidence.

As for Amal, she pursues a divorce lawsuit of a different type, a long and zigzag divorce way. That goes through obscure texts that are uninterpretted even by lawyers because of the few divorce lawsuits raised in the Christian Doctrine Courts, a discrepancy in interpretation in divorce or marriage dissolution, a difference between long term procedures, crippling, extra amounts of money under titles of lawsuit registration fees on the claim of dissuading seekers of divorce which is not preferable, and between an implicit preference for a lawyer to be Christian as well, this preference is not announced or illustrated but preferred and semi-decided.

Amal is senior in marriage, however, she hesitated times and times until she took the final decision of divorce. She hesitated as she didn’t have an independent shelter to her and her sons after the complete refusal to be hosted by her parents who know well her extreme disability of paying the rent even for a small modest room in a far detached and modest suburb.

Jumana had hosted a relative in her house and left the door partially open; when her young girl entered the house and saw the massive episode, she phoned her brother to tell him of what she had seen. As a result, he came briskly in order to put an end to the abuse of his widowed mother who is aged fifty. A woman worker goes daily out of her house under the cover of darkness in order to support her two children, who in turn, account her for a special behaviour related only to her and in her own house in which she spent her life paying the instalments and debts. Yet, the young boy threatens his mother by saying: ‘Aren’t you afraid that my sister will do just like what you did? And the girl tells her: ‘Tomorrow, my brother is going to bring women into the house just because of your bad-doing!’ Yes, this happens in 2016, in an environment that is considered as an open and civilized, a superficial description, concrete and disheartening.

Om Marwan is a widow in her forties, her daughter’s fiancé is only two years younger than her, the fiancé insists on calling Om Marwan as Mart Ammi (The wife of my uncle). However, Om Marwan gets angry once hearing this word. It’s really quite remarkable that the fiancé insists on kissing his mother in Law’s hand each visit (both when coming and leaving). In return, he imposes on his finance to kiss his mother’s and her mother’s hand, bragging that he is teaching her courtesy and respect.

Yesterday, the fiancé came with frowning face and angry features. He has been informed by his cousin that his mother in law was laughing with their neighbour at the entrance of the building. He threatened and shouted that he didn’t allow for apology, listening or understanding.

The doorbell rang, the comers were Samer, his wife and the three children. ‘You are welcome’ said the mother with glad shiny face. However, she startled once she had seen packs of luggage and bags, to know that her son and his family had decided to live with her in her small house.

Her son owns a house; however, under the claim of mother care, he came claiming love but to spoil the ease and the comfort of his mother at her small house which is only convenient to her as of its size and furniture and because of further affairs that give her independency, comfort and happiness. Moreover, He came back to teach her in front of his wife that he came back in order to be satisfied by her mother’s cooking. He said that with naughtiness and forged claims, as if he was granting his mother an honour medal that would be in return for the comfort, care and tranquillity for several centuries. Neither she was willing to share them her nice and comfortable cottage nor was the wife willing to tighten the noose on her and her sons.

However, the decision of the one and only male the inheritor of his mother’s estate, the commander, the exterminator of all questions or discussion has got the right in deciding on what he would like to do and execute what he decides. He is the protector and the trustee on his mother, the one who delivered him, and his wife who was picked out from her house just like a green tree, taken out from her privacy and the spaces for children’s recreational spaces and their living.

The whole village do know that Riyad is a passionate lover, the thing that incites him to leave his wife and his two children, to live at his mistress’s house and spend money on her. Therefore, the wife decided to leave to her parents’ house, who in turn proudly sent her back to her husband’s house claiming that they are not into houses disintegration, and that they won’t allow for their daughter to damage the structure of her house and family. She asked for divorce but in vain, she has been collided by the threat in sometimes, other times by absence. At the same time, her husband indulges more in adornment and repudiation from his wife’s feelings and commitments towards his family. By the end, the husband’s father suggests a fair and just resolution from his point of view. That resolution was to register the son’s house for his two girls and the grandfather to be the trustee on them. As for the wife, to  remain only their mother, without having the right for divorce, marriage, love again, nor even taking her husband’s property,  who is the most righteous in it. Expressly, she takes a babysitter’s role in return for living and not to lose her two sons.

That is just a tip in the iceberg from the disclosed, silent, and hidden violence. A violence without a specific identity that gives it a categorization amongst violence types to be handled, or to set procedures that penalize the wrongdoer or give the prosecuted his/her right, a prolonged conflict in describing the rights, duties, preventions and punishments.

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